A Brother Remembers

Dedicated To: Simon Noel Ruiz

I remember the year of '59
The day that you were born

It was the 1st of December
And boy was it cold outside

I need to roll it back a little
To give you a clearer view

It started around 3 am
So early in the morn

Dad did wake me with a shake
To let me know the score

I just turned twelve, two months before
So I guessed he trusted me

He spoke real low
So not to wake our sisters

Who were sleeping so peacefully?
To tell me Mom was ready to deliver

He told me, I was to be in charge
While they were to be away

I remember the words he spoke to me
Just like it was yesterday

"So take good care of your sisters
For probably the rest of the day"

I said yes Sir, as I followed behind
As they marched out the kitchen door

I heard the car's engine, come to life
In the coldness of the night

I remember standing by the door
And thinking of what to do

Wondering if Mom would be alright
As the car sped, into the frozen air

I walked over to our sisters
Who were still so fast asleep?

I looked down at Deanna
With Dolores next to her side

That's when I pondered, what kind of baby
Would you turn out to be?

As I stumbled back to the warm bed
I'd left a while ago

It didn't take very long
To fall asleep again

Later in the frosty morn
The phone began to ring, two long, one short

For a party line we had
I heard dear Dad say ever so clear

"Your Mother and brother are doing fine
So tell the girls, for me"

So that little brother, is how I remember
The day you can to be

I just wish Mom and Dad were here
To fill in, what I left out

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
March 1, 2007

Eyes of a Wiser Man

Dedicated: To those who've wept with a broken heart

Between the tears of a broken heart
Reside bitter sweet memories of my former life

They come to haunt me, in the lateness of the night
Reminding me of mistakes I've made, along the road of strife

Like a ship being tossed, by the gales of a ragging sea
So goes my every thought

Stirring dreams from another past
As I try to forget, in the wee hours of the morn

I wish so hard to block the love I keep
Inside my tormented soul

But each time, the visions of you appear
In the clarity of my mind

Revamping all the hurt you've caused
In the dungeons of my heart

I've searched to find another
To steer the pain away

But it's not as easy as one would think
To wash your sins away

And erase the harm you've caused
Within the fiber of my being

What a fool was I?
To believe those blatant lies

The very ones you swore to me
In the coldness of your tone

But I was blind, so much in love
How could I not believe?

It was fate that showed the honest truth
Which made me see the light?

Now I know the real you
Your wickedness shines so true

And like a ship lost at sea
Which has been thru a terrible storm?

My life goes on, all battered and bruised
In a lesson, I've learned from life

For the love I lost, in losing you
Will always be felt inside

And I view the passion of another
Thru the eyes of a wiser man

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
February 20, 2007

Jaded Memories

In the jagged edges of the dawn, lie the jaded memories from another past
They come at night in my thoughts, to lull me back to a quieter place

Which bring sweet tears of joy, as I hold you in my arms
Why did time take this away, when we were young, so much in love?

Life can be cruel at times, playing tricks within our souls
And now your heart, soul and body, belongs to someone else

That which is meant to be, can never be undone
So I'll take what comes to me of you, in the fantasies of the night

And wish we had traveled together, along the road of life
Alas, for that is not to be, so beware my faded love

For in the fondness I keep, for what we once embraced
I pray you'll find the happiness, you so deserve, in the confines of your heart

Where my love for you will never wane
In the solitude of my dreams

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
February 13, 2007

Cavern of Dreams

I hear the echoes of loneliness, so sharp and clear, in the cavern of my dreams

They come at night to torture me, for the words I could not say

The resounding memories from another time, lie deep between my thoughts
Cascading off the walls of despair, which resides within my heart

If only I could forget the love I hold for you, inside my wretched soul
It would help release depressions of guilt, for the words I failed to say

Now as I try to tell you, the way I truly feel
Your eyes look the other way, you have no room for me

So my words of love will not be heard, no matter what I do
For your heart has flown to another one, who was not afraid to say

The very words I left unspoken
I'll love you dear, forever more

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
February 06, 2007

Far Away Friend

Dedicated To: Mystic Bluebell

My thoughts turn towards the east, across the shinning sea

Where Angels, rainbows, and painted stars enlightens the distance, that lies between our souls

I take this time to send a prayer, and wish the best for you

And pray that God will heal the hurt you feel inside, and take your pain away

May your stay be short, and your return be quick, to the place you call your home

For you give so much to those who care, and they'll miss you while you're away

Sweet tears of joy will be cried by all, with your safe return back home

So please get well, and come back soon, to the place where you belong

And share your thoughts to one and all, in a style we've come to know

So to you my friend, from all of us, we send our love to you

We hope that you'll soon be here

To share your gift with us

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

February 02, 2007

Passion of your Love

Dedicated To: Sal & Carmen Garcia

In the realm of our souls, lies the emptiness of despair, for those who don't believe

It curls the stomach, blinds our thoughts, and leaves no room for love

While it lurks, and waits, in lure of the direction we shall take

On the road we'll travel, towards our place in time

I know these words so very well, for once I felt this way

But since you walked into my life, you turned the night to day

Which brings a clearness to my mind, as well as too my eyes

Now I see thru tears of joy, the love you have for me

You show concern with all your care, and it's free for all who'll ask

But once your grace has filled the heart, it melts the sin away

This empty shell I call my life, will never be the same

And I'll live the passion in your love, for the rest of eternity

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

January 24, 2007

Shadows of the Night

Dedicated: To those who mend the broken hearts

Have you ever wondered why memories remain so deep inside our souls?
In the outer limits of the stars, is where my dreams of you are stored

It is there your face reflects, the amber's of the twilight
Which lessen the pain that's held of you, in the shadows of the night?

While the beauty of your memory, remains entrenched inside my thoughts
This helps to heal the loneliness that resides within my heart?

It's been three years, since you left my side, how empty is this shell
For I never thought I could find another, to match the love we shared

In my search of a special one, to replace the emptiness which haunts me so?
I found a soul mate, who helps overcome, the sadness of your lost

This absolves the clouds of guilt I feel, and sends the hurt away
But my thoughts for you will always be, of the passion we once embraced

And the love I'll share, with the one who mends a broken heart
Will sparkle like diamonds in the sky, as we soar towards our dreams

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
January 11, 2007

The Winds of March

In Memory: Maria C. Ruiz (03-10-24) (03-28-03)

March brings breezes loud and shrill, stirs the golden Daffodil
Within the branches of the trees, blown by winds from the northern skies

Lay the hope of another year, in the seeds which cling to the sleeping trees
Which wakes the flowers in the ground, to put our mind at ease?

I paid a visit the other day, to a place I seldom go
Where memories lie beneath the ground, and tears are often found

The 28th of March to be exact, is a time of sadness; I'll never forget
That's the day our Mother left, to be with God above

The pain which left her soul that morn, transferred to the ones she loved
That very moment lingers in me, and my siblings will never forget

For the winds of March blew in from the north, and took her life from us
And the tears we cried in the early dawn, will forever remain in our hearts?

Only memories of a Mother who gave us life, is all that we have left

As I watch the golden Daffodils she loved so much, stirring atop her grave

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
January 7, 2007

Bush Pilot

Dedicated To: Jimmy Tubbs & Cheryl Reynolds

As I surge below the sunlit stars, in the land of the midnight sun
The snow capped mountains are rising fast, beneath the pale moonlight

A bush pilot I've been since '75, never regretting the choice I made
For I've seen the wonders of this world in my travels toward the clouds

Inside the drifting pockets of air, that cushions my silver wings
I steer this craft, with breathless thoughts, as I soar to a higher peace

How often will one get a chance, to gaze upon the trueness of this land?
As I fly up high, I see the dreams created by God, in the solitude of the sky

Not much has changed, in the years I've flown, and I pray it never will
For the beauty which lies before my eyes, is a treasure for all to see

In airlifting supplies to a wayward spot in the outback of the Alaskan plains
I ponder of the grandeur which unfolds before me, and shudder at what may come

If only we could keep the serenity of the land, the way it's always been
The dreams which God created, will forever remain in our thoughts

For those who wish to see the visions, will need to fly up high
So come along and join with me, for the glow that shines from heaven above

Will brighten the shadows of the Northern Lights
In the land of the midnight sun

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
January 02, 2007

Soldiers On Patrol

Dedicated To: Winston H. Martin

As I ride along the sands of time, I find how precious life can be

Whenever soldiers, engage in wars, to fight for liberty

For me the loneliness job I'll ever have

Is being the commander of an Army Battalion, in the city they call Baghdad

In my short stay in the hell, which I've come to know so well

Death is just a heartbeat away, each second we're on patrol

I try to instill this thought in my troops, to keep them safe from harm

But every so often I've come to learn, it is of no avail

For when the sounds of a bomb explodes, it shatters the dreams we have

Of what is yet to come and unfortunately will never be

At the end of a sadden day, I'll weep with tears in the duty which lies to me

In the letters I'll write to Mothers, Fathers, and wives the ones who are left behind

Each day I prepare our soldiers, for the orders that come our way

And each time I pray no harm will come, from this evil that's so abound

But as the commander of this unit, I need to make this clear

The bravest men, and women I know, are serving our nation well

One day I'll know, peace will come and our troops will head for home

And we'll remember they gave their best for God and country

As only soldiers can

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

December 28, 2006

The Summit of Your Love

Dedicated To: Pamela Hardin

If I could climb towards the summit, which contains all my love for you
If I could reach, and touch your lips, and kiss softly the thoughts you hold inside for me

What bliss would we enjoy, as I caress the memories we once embraced, so many years ago
As I climb the snow tipped mountain, known as the Matterhorn

From another place and time the thoughts for you I hold inside keeps peace within my mind
Decisions in life are often made, which decides the fate we'll take

As we ride towards the goal we seek, in our stroll to a higher place
Did I make the wrong choice, in turning my heart, from the love you offered me?

I've climbed many mountains in this world, for a mountaineer am I?
But the peak, I could not conquer, is the summit of all your love

So as I age with grace and do what is needed, to seal the fate I've chose?
The dreams for you will always be, of the passion I left behind

And all my vistas of the mountains I've climbed, will be like an afterthought
For the crest I could not capture, is the love that was lost in turning away

From the beauty that lies in your soul

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
December 21, 2006

Shifting Swells

Dedicated To: The Skippers of the Velux5ocean Ultimate Solo Challenge

Beyond the blueness of the sea, beneath the pale moonlight
I ride the currents of the deep, aboard my solo yacht

Eight weeks out from Bilbao, and forging onwards to Fremantle, on the first leg of the trek
My thoughts of you begin and end, in the twilight of the lonely sky, towards the goal I seek

Each day goes by with memories of us, within my weathered crown
This helps preserve my sanity from being lost, in the ravages of this endless wake?

How I wish you where along my side, as I ride the shifting swells
For all the love I hold for you, I keep within my heart

Every moment alone on this ship of life, which protects me from the perils, which lay beneath my keel?
I hold the dreams that are yet to be, in the portals of our souls

Until this race around the world comes to a graceful end
And I'm holding you within my arms, so I can kiss your tears away

Then I'll know I've faced the test, done my best
And now, I'm here for you

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
December 02, 2006

Shadows in the Clouds

Dedicated To: Ronnie Mckinzie

Have you ever wondered how it would be, if our lives had never crossed?
No special feeling would be felt, as our shadows emerge from the clouds

For us to share our lives, and hopes, from a place so far away
Makes this friendship so exceptional, in the sentiments which we convey

I sometimes ponder, how you cope, in the life that you've weaved
As we face the reality of time and what is yet to be

Our thoughts will be similar, in the aspirations we shall seek
We may even approach life differently, but in the end the results remain the same

So many things we have in common, which lie between our thoughts
Even the tears we've shed, when hurt invades our hearts

All of this revolving, within the web of our wayward souls
As we travel down the busy highway, between the blissful lanes

But this I tell you my far away friend, our dreams will never shatter, as long as we believe
There's only one heavenly Father, and the gift we share is his

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
November 27, 2006

Rivers, of My Thoughts

Dedicated To: Jack Zeigler & Flo, the wife he left behind

To you my dearest, I profess the love for you, I keep inside my soul
For this is how I truly feel, from within the rivers of my thoughts

Between the fibers of my dreams, lie the memories of our hopes
And all that we've ever done, in the life which we've embraced

So I'll take this time, to let you know, how deep our love has grown
As we age with grace, towards the final chapter, I know we'll face one day

Each moment with you has been a jubilation, a blessing from God above
So many recollections we both enjoyed, along with tears to match the sadness, instilled within our hearts

But overall I must confess, each night when we lie down to sleep, as I stare into your eyes
I say a silent prayer, thanking God for all you've done and for all you mean too me

For I can not contemplate, living without your love
So I'll pray for God, to place my soul into his home, when my sands of time run out

Where I'll wait until he calls you, so we can be together
In the kingdom he created from the power of his passion

In his heavenly home, we shall share eternal bliss
For our love will begin all over again
And will last until forever

Written by Roland R. Ruiz
Wednesday November 22, 2006

Destiny

Dedicated To: Louis Antonio Almaguer, Jr.

As I walk along this barren highway, where I've never been before
I look and ponder how I got here, with not a soul to even ask

I'm searching for a sign post, their lies one up ahead
My eyes begin to strain, as I look to read the name

The words I spy says Destiny, how strange it seems to me
As I wonder how I came upon, this quiet lonely path

So I keep my pace and hope another, will soon be joining me
To tell me where I am, and what lies around the bend

I'm thinking how this happened, unable to recall
The last think I remember, was driving down the mountain, in the early morning fog

Tired from working the night shift, and in a hurry to get home
So I drive a little faster, as my eyelids begin to fall

Now I'm walking down a road, without a car to steer me home
Something wrong, very different, never felt this way before

In the distance I see a person, heading straight towards this spot
Could it be a lonely stranger with the same thoughts, I possess?

As he gets a little closer, it begins to dawn on me
He isn't even walking, for his wings are clear too see

Now I know why the sign post, has the name of Destiny
My days are finally over, no point in shedding tears

Though I led a life of goodness, I've sinned along the way
For every night before I sleep, I pray to God my soul to keep
and to forgive my earthly sins

Now the time has come to reap, for all that I've prayed
Today is just the beginning, of the next eternity

For my Guardian Angle has been sent, by the Son who loves me so
To guide me to my heavily home, the one his Father built

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
November 13, 2006

Seconds & Heartbeats

In Memory: Jesus Gonzalez Jr.

In the inner corners of my thoughts, lie the heartaches of my life
Which comes to haunt me each time I gaze, towards the love we once embraced

It's been two years since you departed, leaving me all along
To wander in this empty house, with only memories, to calm the fears, which remain within my dreams

The seconds and heartbeats we shared together, since we became just one
Keeps my sanity from being lost, in the shadows of my heart

I've tried to find another love, too soothe my lonely days
But I've yet to find that special one, to replace the images your face in shines, upon my wretched soul

So I'll try to sleep and hope no thoughts of you, will reach inside of me
But this I know, as sure as the morning dew forms upon the grass

The feelings of you, will come to me in the twilight of the night
As I'll yearn and weep many tears, for all you've left behind

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
November 08, 2006

Pondering Thoughts

Dedicated To: Art Bocanegra

Have you ever wondered how many seconds, remain within your life

Or how may times your heart has beaten, since you first appeared in your Mother's womb

On this cloudy murky day, as I sit upon my trusted steed, with only these thoughts to keep me occupied

I ponder what life has dealt to me, and wonder why I feel this way

All that I have ever done makes little difference

When the seconds and heartbeats meets at the end, and all my debts are due

That's when I'll meet the maker who waits for me, on the other side of life

Will I be ready to face what is to come, or should I correct the mistakes I've made, before my time runs out

This is the deep question I need to answer, as I sit with my lonely thoughts

And wonder why I've led a life of solitude, without a soul mate to comfort me in my time of need

I fear my seconds will soon give out, as my heartbeat begins to fade

So I'll make my peace before I go, and pray it will be enough

So I'll be able to share the glory, which waits for me, and all those who believe

In another place so much kinder, then the one I live in today

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

November 2, 2006

Dreams of A Beating Heart

Dedicated To: Clyde Harris

If ever a dream, could describe the feeling of love
I hold for you inside my beating heart

The day would not be fast enough, to cascade into the dark
So I could fall asleep quickly, to let my thoughts of you begin

The visions of the love we shared, so many years ago
Reflect upon our inner selves, as we try to relive our loss

My eyes did meet a glancing dart, between our broken souls
The sparks still flame, even though years have passed
Since you were my blushing bride

Now the only thoughts we share, are the one we made together
For she is truly a gift from God, where did we go so wrong

I know that we're not the same, our lives has lead to separate trails
Along the road of life, it's as if another, has placed on a different path

But as we meet on this wedding day, for the one we created from love
I hope and pray she'll be able to keep, what we lost along the way

And as the Pastor repeats the words I remember, from another place and time
To love, honor, and cherish each other, forever and a day

How I wish we could have kept our vows, what a difference this hour would make
As I watch my baby walks out the isle, towards the path she'll take

I think back to what should have been, as the tears flow down your cheeks
And wishing time would turn around, so I could love you all over again

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
October 28, 2006

Moon Beams of Love

Dedicated To: Angie M. Ruiz

If all my thoughts of you could be seen, like the moon beams that shine at night
If all the love I have for you, could be put to song

And sung by Angels, in their heavenly home, as they fly between the clouds
If all that I've ever felt for you, could be expressed in just one dream

What endless shadows of love would exist, between the rainbows of our souls
I could not imagine how life would be, without you by my side

The kiss you place upon my lips, before we fall asleep
And the gentile caress I feel upon my cheeks, when you wake me in the morn

As we share the remaining golden years, the Lord will grant to us
I pray that all we've done together, brings honor to our marriage

And God, will let us share our love, until the final hour

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
October 18, 2006

Evil Wind

Dedicated To: Manuel Perez

I had a dream the other night, as I tossed and turned, in the early morning hours
About an evil wind that's blowing, across our troubled land

I feel the presence in the air, as it surrounds my wretched soul
A dreaded fear is embedded deeply, in the fiber of my bones

For there is danger in the horizon, it's headed for our eastern shore, in hast it makes its way
Many say it's here already, and I would tend to agree, so I say a silent prayer, for the worst is yet to be

The war has brought a feeling of despair, to a nation so brave and proud
Maybe it's time to shed this honor; we've held since our founding days

This is a different kind of war, unlike the ones we've fought before
We have an enemy who has no fear of taking life, even when it's their own

Our troops each day die one by one, in this God forsaken place
Where death lurks around every corner, in cities so far away

Waiting to steal our sons and daughters, as they march along the streets
Is their no way out with honor, I wonder how this can be

For the President of these United States, must face the reality
To find a way to return our troops, for we aspire to live in peace

I pray that somehow this will be, and God will grant our sovereign nation
A way to end the pain we've endured, since September of 2001

May we pray as one, to end this war, and bring our soldiers home
For they deserve to live out their dreams, for all that they have done

I ask you Lord to grant this prayer, and bring peace to our turbulent soil
This struggle has brought much anguish to us, and we wish you'll end it soon

And send the evil wind that's blowing, back where it belongs

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
October 15, 2006