Shadows in the Clouds

Dedicated To: Ronnie Mckinzie

Have you ever wondered how it would be, if our lives had never crossed?
No special feeling would be felt, as our shadows emerge from the clouds

For us to share our lives, and hopes, from a place so far away
Makes this friendship so exceptional, in the sentiments which we convey

I sometimes ponder, how you cope, in the life that you've weaved
As we face the reality of time and what is yet to be

Our thoughts will be similar, in the aspirations we shall seek
We may even approach life differently, but in the end the results remain the same

So many things we have in common, which lie between our thoughts
Even the tears we've shed, when hurt invades our hearts

All of this revolving, within the web of our wayward souls
As we travel down the busy highway, between the blissful lanes

But this I tell you my far away friend, our dreams will never shatter, as long as we believe
There's only one heavenly Father, and the gift we share is his

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
November 27, 2006

Rivers, of My Thoughts

Dedicated To: Jack Zeigler & Flo, the wife he left behind

To you my dearest, I profess the love for you, I keep inside my soul
For this is how I truly feel, from within the rivers of my thoughts

Between the fibers of my dreams, lie the memories of our hopes
And all that we've ever done, in the life which we've embraced

So I'll take this time, to let you know, how deep our love has grown
As we age with grace, towards the final chapter, I know we'll face one day

Each moment with you has been a jubilation, a blessing from God above
So many recollections we both enjoyed, along with tears to match the sadness, instilled within our hearts

But overall I must confess, each night when we lie down to sleep, as I stare into your eyes
I say a silent prayer, thanking God for all you've done and for all you mean too me

For I can not contemplate, living without your love
So I'll pray for God, to place my soul into his home, when my sands of time run out

Where I'll wait until he calls you, so we can be together
In the kingdom he created from the power of his passion

In his heavenly home, we shall share eternal bliss
For our love will begin all over again
And will last until forever

Written by Roland R. Ruiz
Wednesday November 22, 2006

Destiny

Dedicated To: Louis Antonio Almaguer, Jr.

As I walk along this barren highway, where I've never been before
I look and ponder how I got here, with not a soul to even ask

I'm searching for a sign post, their lies one up ahead
My eyes begin to strain, as I look to read the name

The words I spy says Destiny, how strange it seems to me
As I wonder how I came upon, this quiet lonely path

So I keep my pace and hope another, will soon be joining me
To tell me where I am, and what lies around the bend

I'm thinking how this happened, unable to recall
The last think I remember, was driving down the mountain, in the early morning fog

Tired from working the night shift, and in a hurry to get home
So I drive a little faster, as my eyelids begin to fall

Now I'm walking down a road, without a car to steer me home
Something wrong, very different, never felt this way before

In the distance I see a person, heading straight towards this spot
Could it be a lonely stranger with the same thoughts, I possess?

As he gets a little closer, it begins to dawn on me
He isn't even walking, for his wings are clear too see

Now I know why the sign post, has the name of Destiny
My days are finally over, no point in shedding tears

Though I led a life of goodness, I've sinned along the way
For every night before I sleep, I pray to God my soul to keep
and to forgive my earthly sins

Now the time has come to reap, for all that I've prayed
Today is just the beginning, of the next eternity

For my Guardian Angle has been sent, by the Son who loves me so
To guide me to my heavily home, the one his Father built

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
November 13, 2006

Seconds & Heartbeats

In Memory: Jesus Gonzalez Jr.

In the inner corners of my thoughts, lie the heartaches of my life
Which comes to haunt me each time I gaze, towards the love we once embraced

It's been two years since you departed, leaving me all along
To wander in this empty house, with only memories, to calm the fears, which remain within my dreams

The seconds and heartbeats we shared together, since we became just one
Keeps my sanity from being lost, in the shadows of my heart

I've tried to find another love, too soothe my lonely days
But I've yet to find that special one, to replace the images your face in shines, upon my wretched soul

So I'll try to sleep and hope no thoughts of you, will reach inside of me
But this I know, as sure as the morning dew forms upon the grass

The feelings of you, will come to me in the twilight of the night
As I'll yearn and weep many tears, for all you've left behind

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
November 08, 2006

Pondering Thoughts

Dedicated To: Art Bocanegra

Have you ever wondered how many seconds, remain within your life

Or how may times your heart has beaten, since you first appeared in your Mother's womb

On this cloudy murky day, as I sit upon my trusted steed, with only these thoughts to keep me occupied

I ponder what life has dealt to me, and wonder why I feel this way

All that I have ever done makes little difference

When the seconds and heartbeats meets at the end, and all my debts are due

That's when I'll meet the maker who waits for me, on the other side of life

Will I be ready to face what is to come, or should I correct the mistakes I've made, before my time runs out

This is the deep question I need to answer, as I sit with my lonely thoughts

And wonder why I've led a life of solitude, without a soul mate to comfort me in my time of need

I fear my seconds will soon give out, as my heartbeat begins to fade

So I'll make my peace before I go, and pray it will be enough

So I'll be able to share the glory, which waits for me, and all those who believe

In another place so much kinder, then the one I live in today

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

November 2, 2006

Dreams of A Beating Heart

Dedicated To: Clyde Harris

If ever a dream, could describe the feeling of love
I hold for you inside my beating heart

The day would not be fast enough, to cascade into the dark
So I could fall asleep quickly, to let my thoughts of you begin

The visions of the love we shared, so many years ago
Reflect upon our inner selves, as we try to relive our loss

My eyes did meet a glancing dart, between our broken souls
The sparks still flame, even though years have passed
Since you were my blushing bride

Now the only thoughts we share, are the one we made together
For she is truly a gift from God, where did we go so wrong

I know that we're not the same, our lives has lead to separate trails
Along the road of life, it's as if another, has placed on a different path

But as we meet on this wedding day, for the one we created from love
I hope and pray she'll be able to keep, what we lost along the way

And as the Pastor repeats the words I remember, from another place and time
To love, honor, and cherish each other, forever and a day

How I wish we could have kept our vows, what a difference this hour would make
As I watch my baby walks out the isle, towards the path she'll take

I think back to what should have been, as the tears flow down your cheeks
And wishing time would turn around, so I could love you all over again

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
October 28, 2006

Moon Beams of Love

Dedicated To: Angie M. Ruiz

If all my thoughts of you could be seen, like the moon beams that shine at night
If all the love I have for you, could be put to song

And sung by Angels, in their heavenly home, as they fly between the clouds
If all that I've ever felt for you, could be expressed in just one dream

What endless shadows of love would exist, between the rainbows of our souls
I could not imagine how life would be, without you by my side

The kiss you place upon my lips, before we fall asleep
And the gentile caress I feel upon my cheeks, when you wake me in the morn

As we share the remaining golden years, the Lord will grant to us
I pray that all we've done together, brings honor to our marriage

And God, will let us share our love, until the final hour

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
October 18, 2006

Evil Wind

Dedicated To: Manuel Perez

I had a dream the other night, as I tossed and turned, in the early morning hours
About an evil wind that's blowing, across our troubled land

I feel the presence in the air, as it surrounds my wretched soul
A dreaded fear is embedded deeply, in the fiber of my bones

For there is danger in the horizon, it's headed for our eastern shore, in hast it makes its way
Many say it's here already, and I would tend to agree, so I say a silent prayer, for the worst is yet to be

The war has brought a feeling of despair, to a nation so brave and proud
Maybe it's time to shed this honor; we've held since our founding days

This is a different kind of war, unlike the ones we've fought before
We have an enemy who has no fear of taking life, even when it's their own

Our troops each day die one by one, in this God forsaken place
Where death lurks around every corner, in cities so far away

Waiting to steal our sons and daughters, as they march along the streets
Is their no way out with honor, I wonder how this can be

For the President of these United States, must face the reality
To find a way to return our troops, for we aspire to live in peace

I pray that somehow this will be, and God will grant our sovereign nation
A way to end the pain we've endured, since September of 2001

May we pray as one, to end this war, and bring our soldiers home
For they deserve to live out their dreams, for all that they have done

I ask you Lord to grant this prayer, and bring peace to our turbulent soil
This struggle has brought much anguish to us, and we wish you'll end it soon

And send the evil wind that's blowing, back where it belongs

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
October 15, 2006

Window of Time

Dedicated To: Juan M. I. Valadez

Have you ever wanted to look thru the window of time?
To see what you've left behind

As I lie in this hospice bed, thinking of all my yesterdays
I remember back when I was young, free of the pain, that now becomes a part of me

My carefee days, were filled with zeal, death was not even an afterthought
So eager was I to follow the course, which was so plan for me to see

As I sailed thru life's embrace, not ever thinking the day would come
When my youthful ways would slip away, as I aged with grace, towards my final destiny

Then one day in the prime of life, a pain shot thru my being
The hurt that I endured that day, convinced me of my mortality

In the delirium of the aches, which came deep within my bones?
I knew right then this was real, as the EMS blared down the crowed street

In my 47 years, I have never known the comforts of a hospital bed
Soon I learned how to adjust to the sickness that invaded me, but the worst was yet to come

In between the shots of dope they poured into my veins
I fell as if, I'm in a cloud, as the pain begins to fade

After three days of testing, the Doctors paid a visit
To let me know the score

I remember the overcast of the sky, as I looked out the windowpane
The three of them peered down at me, with the results the tests had shown

"A militant tumor has spread within your bones, you have just weeks to live"
"Their's nothing we can do, but ease the pain", so the Doctors said

I was in total shock as I heard the words that would soon seal my fate
As I watched them leave the room, it began to dawn on me that death was at the door

Now I lie in this hospice bed with only thoughts of my yesteryears to set my mind at ease
I've been a loner all my life, not even siblings have I

My parents died some years ago, and I never found the love a wife, to share sweet dreams with me
So their's nothing to leave behind, not even a friend to say goodbye

But thru all of this, as I lay dying in this bed, I have one final thought
A Pastor paid a visit, just this very day

He told me of the Father in Heaven, who loves me nonetheless, to open heart and soul, to his eternal Son
Just asked for his forgiveness, for he gives it free to all

So I poured out my sins, and prayed with him, as he knelt beside my pillow
Together we asked for God's mercy, thru his holy Son

I felt a tingling touch my heart, as he rose from the side of my bed
I remember his words, as he gave me a hug

For death is just the beginning, a trip we all must make
To reach the home we longed to be, for the rest of eternity

Written by Roland R. Ruiz
October 07, 2006

The Midnight Sky

Have you ever been under the midnight sky, riding along with the salty spray across the barren sea?
With only the stars and moonlight shinning bright to whisper to your thoughts

As I set upon this rickety porch, and look toward the open waters, that once was a part of me
The dreams of when I was young and free, keeps flooding back and haunts me, in the middle of the night when I'm alone, without a soul to keep me company

The memories of the wild ocean lay deep within my mind
I remember slicing around Cape Horn, in the early morning hours

With a copper sky, behind the mast, which highlights the beauty of the day?
While the ice cold waves, that broached the ship, brings contentment to my soul

The sounds of the sea, remains in me, for all these many years
Which adds to the joy, to this weathered sailor, who longs to be aboard a ship, within the swells of an endless wake?

How I wish I could go back and sail around the Horn, in the ship that was my life
until time caught up and I got old, for only the sea is ageless

The sky, and fog, the savage tides at night, brings comfort to my misty eyes, as I look towards the ocean, from the porch of my land locked ship

That now becomes my home, until the middle of the night, when my dreams begin to flow, and I'm back at sea, where I long to be

In wait of God, calling me to the harbor of his love, where I'll dock my ship upon his pier and sail no more forever

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
September 17, 2006

Dreams of Life

Dedicated To: A Californian Friend

The dreams of life was once forgotten
When once in darkness I reposed

But now as I awake, from my slumber
In the brightness of the morn

I feel the dreams I thought forgotten
Not those that really matter

But in my search for something different
To soothe the trembles in my heart

I hap to find the love of you
From which I vow to n'eer depart

But if that love I look to find
Has left my heart unbridled

The darkness that once filled my soul
Will never in my heart repose

Now the brightness of the light
Fills my heart with love

I will humbly thank the Creator
Who lives in the realm above

But only when my time is done
And he's ready to call me home

Only then will I relent my love of you
For my heavenly home above

Copyright C.P. Dhuet & Roland R. Ruiz

Waters of Life

Artwork courtesy of www.eaglezen.com

What if I could relive my life, and start all over again
Would I change my ways, I sometimes wonder as I asked myself

If all that I've ever done, could be placed in front of me
What choice would my soul select, for the rest of eternity?

Should I take the same road, in my trek thru troubled times?
Or would I change direction, and go where no harm can reach my heart

To play it safe, as one would say, and stay on the high side of life
Without the pain, to release the tears which resides so deep in me?

How often one must face this choice, in the daily chores of strife
For those who make this passage in time, on the road which leads to death

Have a decision that must be made, as we thread upon the waters of life
For in the end, a final choice awaits for each of us

To live in internal bliss, with the one who created all we've seen
Or stay forever without the love, he gives freely to one and all

It is for us to decide, for myself I have no fear, in the choice which I shall make
I'll ask his Son who died for me, to forgive my mortal sins

And hope and pray, my sins are cleansed, in the blood he shed for me
So I'll follow him to his Father's palace, and Heaven will be my home

Where I'll sing with all the Angels, and multitudes, which fill his house with love
There I'll bask in the glow of his everlasting grace, in the room he prepared for me

For all eternity

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
September 14, 2006

Golden Sands

Dedicated To: Evangeline, My Beloved

As I thread upon the golden sands
Which leads to thoughts of you?

I think of the years, shared together
In the sunshine of my dreams

They come at night to soothe my soul
This fills my heart with love

As I turn onto my pillow, from the softness of our bed
I see the total beauty, which lies within my grasp

I think of all we've accomplished, since we became just one
And wishing we could go back, to relive our youth again

For in the silken sands we've trodden, in our march thru time
Has brought to us a life of richness

Filled with love and laughter, along with many tears we've shed
To wash our pain away

I think of love ones, and friends, who shared our wedding day
How many have passed, to their just reward
Leaving only memories, to keep within our hearts

Our life has been a blessing, for all these many years
All that I have ever been, is due because of you

As I gaze upon the women who's made my life complete
I'll pray for God, to bless, the years he'll grant to us
And thank him for what he's given, in our trek thru life's embrace

One final thought I'll leave behind, as I drift back to my dreams
Grow old along with me; my beloved for the best is yet to be

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
September 07, 2006

Voyage of Loneliness

Dedicated To: Oralia Culler

Author's Note
The Ultimate Solo Challenge will soon begin, this around the world yacht race is called VELUX 5 OCEANS, is one of the most established, continuously run, single-handed round the world yacht race. It has taken place every four years since 1982. The race is the longest and toughest event, for any individual in any sport, October 22, of 2006, the race will begin, and the skippers will sail over 30,000 miles of ocean alone, facing all the extremes that nature can throw at them, this poem is dedicated in to these few brave men who dare to challenge nature, and all its elements.....

I've seen the majestic stars twinkling brightly, beneath the shadows of a moonless night
Watched the sparkles of the Northern Lights, in the coldness of a Norwegian fjord

I've crossed the oceans, so many times without the feel of solid ground, to support my aging feet
And seen so many different sites in my travels around this world

For I've sailed upon the seven seas, watching swells of cresting waves, swirling within the undulations, of a unforgiving mass
But what I remember most, which remains deep within my thoughts

Is the loneliness felt, in the vastness of the ocean, which lies beneath my keel
Its been six weeks since I left Bilbao, Spain, on an early October morn on route to Fremantle, Australia, by early December, on the first leg of the race

With a lay over to rest my weary bones, I'll pursue a trek towards America
On the banks of the Chesapeake Bay, hoping to make Norfolk, by mid March in the early part of next year

Then cross the wild Atlantic, back to Bilbao, to claim the prize I hope to win by the middle of April, I pray
That is if I'm able to keep my sanity, in this God forsaken abyss

Which is to be my home for the next six months, how lonely will I be
As I ponder aboard my solo yacht, which protects me from the mysteries which lie below the water line, within this endless wake

I think of God so high above, and say a prayer to him, please dear Lord, give me strength to cope with the feelings I have inside my heart
Alone at sea without a friend to convey the many thoughts, which resides so deep in me

If you could keep me in a frame of mind, which will hold me in one piece
And let me finish, what I've started, to reach the end I seek

Then I'll know I've given my best, win or lose, I've been faithful to the quest
And passed the test, and the prize called life, I've won

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
September 04, 2006

Cabin Boy

Dedicated To: Xavier Christopher Magallanes

Whenever I go back to the sea, it is with a tear in my eye
For I recollect the lad that I was, and the memories flood back to me

I was just short of fifteen, when I boarded a ship
From a pier, on the Bay of St. John's

Due to a friend, who snuck me aboard, a cabin boy I became
So off I sailed to see the world, for I knew I could learn the ways of the sea

If given half of a chance, so I did what was told, and kept to myself
And watched and learned what needed to be done, to keep this vessel afloat

For the years brought me the craft of the trade, and a sailor I soon came to be
I was taught the skills, by the best of the crew, how my hands did burn with the rope

But soon I was able to keep up with the best, and a cabin boy I was no more
For I was a whaler, my home town New Bedford, and I never regretted my move

That was nearly 40 years ago, now I'm landlocked, without a ship to steer my heart, towards the ocean's blue

How hollow my life has become, since the sea which I love, is no longer a part of me
As I look from the shore, towards the horizon, within the misty fog
A ship of fate waits for me, to take me to my new home

Now as my life nears an end, I think of my yesteryears
I pray that my dreams, of the oceans I've sailed

Will be waiting for me, when I dock at the home port of God

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
September 1, 2006

Our First Kiss

Dedicated To: Evangeline

As I lay in deep repose, I search my soul, from within my dreams
For the very first time your lips touched mine, in the spring time of our youth

When we were young and just beginning, to share our lives as one
I remember our love as it began to bloom, to flourish as it would

Such thoughts I've kept just for you, in the autumn of my years
The memories of our times together, brings pleasure to my heart

For the shyness was their that very first time, as I reached to touch your face
But I couldn't resist, caressing your lips, so I stole a kiss from you

A lot has happened since that encounter, even after all these years
My love for you has never wavered; it's as stong now, as it was back then
When I stole a kiss from you

But this I'll tell you, my fair sweet love, I've cherished each moment we've lived together
And I look forward to what lies beyond, for I'll know you'll be a part of me, as I will be to you

Even onto the end of time, our love will never die

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
August 29, 2006

Shudder

Dedicated To: Evangeline M. Ruiz

I shudder to think how life would be, if I had not the love you gave to me, so many years ago
How different my life would be right now, if our paths had never crossed

For ever since I've come to know, the flower of my dreams
I think of you as the morning dew, so crystal clear in the love you've given, and to think it all for me

Every waking moment in the years we've been together
Has seen my yearning grow by leaps and bounds, and the joy never seems to end

You Evangeline, has shared with me, a very special gift, which comes from God, so high above, he meant for us to be
Together we have forged a devotion, which shall last the test of time

As we trek within our hour glass, be assured of what I say
I hold you in my heart and soul, in all you've been to me

Now love, the time has come to tell you of my deep and inner thoughts
For you've made my very existence, so blissful
In the years, we've shared as one

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
August 26, 2006

Shadow of My Dreams

Dedicated To: Tony Taylor

Have you ever seen moving echoes, which flash within your dreams?
They come in the twilight of the night, while you lay asleep, with imagines of days gone by

I have many visions within my mind, some good, and some bad
Even dreaded nightmares, to scare a chill in me

But the ones that I remember most, are those who have gone their way
So many love ones, I've come to know, as I trek towards
the finality of life, as slow as one can go

Mom and Dad, Grandfather, and Grandmother top the list, with many more beneath
Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and friends, I've been privileged to know
In my travels towards the end

They come at night, not all the time, but when they do, tears cascade, down my cheeks, as I lay in deep repose

It makes one wonder of growing old, and how you'll meet your fate
For when my time arrives, and my dreams cease to be

Then I'll become an echo, flashing brightly
As I join my righteous friends, in the shadow of my dreams

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
August 24, 2006

Divine Power

Dedicated To: Joseph Borrego

Have you ever been on a highway, leading to a place filled with promise and hope?
Where you feel, within yourself, you've been down this road before
My thoughts have often crossed like this, in the open doors of life

There is a medium of the divine power, which resides in all of us
As we travel along the path of time, towards our destiny

The faint glimmer of despair, lies bare all our travesties
In our march forward, seeking to find the goodness that lies within our souls

For me I'll know, what my fortune will bring, as I trek towards the end
I pray that I shall greet my fate, with grace and dignity
The medium of the divine power, is God, for no other can take his place

So I'll walk towards his only Son, the one who died to set us free
Thru his divinity, I'll repent my sins, which have followed along with me

And the road I've traveled, will lead not to an end
But a new beginning, which shall last for the rest of eternity

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
August 20, 2006

Solitude of Loneliness

Dedicated To: Jonathan Ruben Gonzalez

As I walk beside this solitude of loneliness

Which seems to reside in me

I feel the pull of fate, tugging against the emptiness of despair

That lies deep, within my soul

I wonder where it shall lead, in my trek thru troubled times

When I reach the end, will life go on, or will it be like an afterthought

And fade into the wind

Without reason or answers, and running on empty thoughts, is that what waits for me?

I feel a part is missing, within my tortured being

Could this be just a wishful vision, I keep inside myself

I search for something different to soothe my aching heart

For love was never given, in my travel thru life's embrace

I never knew my Father, and my Mother orphaned me

Into this world, I grew alone

Without a parent's love, to guide or cherish me, towards my earthly strife

Now I search for love, to fill the void of nothingness, which has merged inside my core

Is it too late, can I survive, or will the end be just a dream?

I ask dear God to give me solace, and receive my heart into his grace

For then I'll know just how to love, like I've never known before

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

August 18, 2006