A Sinner's Dream

Dedicated To: Simon Ruben Borrego

As I ponder thru the slumber of the dreams which I recall
I hear my fate approaching softly, in the caverns of the sky

It speaks of sins committed, in my trek thru troubled times
And whispers repentance is needed, to reach eternal life

The choices are free and mine to make, the keys to salvation lies in front of me
So simple and easy, I would think, why do I hesitate?
Will God forgive all my transgressions, I've made along the way?

His Son, gave up his life for me, I need to remember this
I'll ask him for forgiveness, from a heart that's filled with sin
And after my confession, he'll open the gates for me

With passion, radiating from the glory of his eyes
And tears cascading down my cheeks, for the yoke of sin been lifted, by the one who died for me

We'll walk into his kingdom, for he washed my soul and healed my pain and made me like the driven snow
For all that I had been before, will be a passing thought

As I enter into his golden orb, to a room reserved for me
I'll find his love will last forever, in the house his Father built

Here abounds such lasting peace, I've looked for all my life
In this palace, which will be my home, for all eternity

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
August 11, 2006

A Daddy, Remembered

Dedicated To: Simon Ruiz (1-1-22) (4-4-98)

The other day, as I had nothing to do, I looked out from my window pane
Wishing for raindrops to begin their fall, from the cumulus clouds stretching across the wide open sky, in the middle of the day

I began to think of growing old, and all the faded years, that seemed to have passed me by
I started to think of how it will be, when my time reaches its end
And wondering how close death is, from knocking on my back door

I began to think of my life, and all the memories I've made in my travels toward the fate, that lies ahead of me
The good, the bad, the in between, but most of all the past
Memory of my Daddy came gushing forth, from the hallows of my mind
The last twelve months before he died, became vividly clear, in the shadows of my thoughts

How I recall the anguish felt, in the illness that took his life
The hapless feeling I held inside, on the visits I made each week
For their was nothing I could do to ease the hurt and take the pain away
From this man I loved since birth, only this epitaph is left, of what he means to me

I recall the time I drove him to see his sister, my Aunt, who was his favorite
I think back to when we're young, and the many trips we all would take
How much we laughed, in those bygone days, how I wish I could go back in time, and see him smile again

Another thought, came into view as I rode upon a remembrance, from another time and place, so many years ago
My Daddy, loved to fish, he took me on my first fishing trip
How could I ever forget, the cane poles he brought home that day, for I was all of seven, in the year of '55

On that special fishing trip we took that very day, we traveled down a back road, along the river's edge
When we got to the place along the bank; he said "we'll start here today"
He started showing me how to fish; I'll never forget the view of the river, thru the vestige of the setting sun, in the coolness of the day

When he caught a fish, a catfish he said, how proud was I to have a Daddy, to share this moment with me
Even now, after all these years, I see the smile upon his face, how I miss him so
If only I could turn back the clock, and relive those memories again

Now as I approach the end of my life, I think back to the day my Daddy died
Of how he faced his demise, he showed such dignity filled with grace, as he prepared to be with the Lord

I still remember the look on his face, as he took his last breath in this world
I whispered softly as he started to go, Daddy follow the light to the other side
God will be waiting for you, so have no fear, enjoy your stay

You'll be seeing us all one day, for you did what a Daddy is supposed to do
You took good care of Mom, and the rest of us too, and helped us to become who we are
The love you instilled, in each of our lives, will forever remain in our hearts

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
August 07, 2006

Touching Hearts

Dedicated To: Matthew Ray Gonzalez

You touch my heart, with your caring eyes, each time you look my way
In all my dreams, as time goes by
The joys and thoughts shared together, becomes stronger each second of the day

The rainbow that carries our hopes and prayers, across this wide divide
Refreshes the beauty of the arch, which stretches between our hearts

The ebb and flow of friendship developed, in our march thru life
Reminds me of the gift received, by God from high above

To one who shares this special treasure, I send my best to you
May you live a lifetime, filled with love

And the many words you'll share with us, in your earthly stay
Will dwell within our rapture hearts, to fill our lives with dreams

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
July 16, 2006

Rainbow Hearts

Dedicated To: Ursula, my poetry sister...

Somewhere over the rainbow, our hearts have come to meet
And each beat of the heart, reminds me of the rainbows
God sends down, for us to see

May the sign of love he created, especially for his flock
Remain within our rapture hearts, bringing joy to one and all

For his presents, is just a preview of all the gifts to come
And we must honor, what is given for he gives it to one and all
So my poetry sister, until we meet again, at the time which marks the end

Where the rainbow of his love will lead, to the Palace HE calls his home
Their we'll meet to share our thoughts, and the words to poems we'll create
Will last forever in HIS Eternity

This is my personal Rainbow Blessing, to you my poetry sister
Thank you for your caring thoughts
May God Bless, each one of you, for what you mean to me

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
July 4, 2006

Forgiving Heart

The whispers from your soul, which lay within my broken dreams
Reveals a secret which we hold inside, of another place and time

When we were young, carefree, and ever so shameless
In the love which we embraced, in the shadow of our minds
I think of what we instilled, and the hurt made along the way

What a web of deceit laid bare, by our lusty thoughts
But that was not to be, for the unrelenting love we shared was never meant to flourish
Nor the forbidden memories weaved together, between our wretches souls

It was just to hard to bear, for the harm I caused to the one I love
To the one who is my wife, will always remain inside of me
The tortured look within her thoughts, it's so clear for all to see

Even when she forgave me, her eyes reveal the hurt inside, for all that I've done
So now the love we once had, has been transferred to her
To my wife, who gave to me second chance, to turn my life around

So now I bid farewell to you, may God forgive our sins
For the love infused together, remains a shattered dream
That lies deep, in a forgiven heart, my love did grant to me

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
July 1, 2006

The Wait for Eternity

Dedicated To: Armandina Magallanes

Thoughts of you, dwell in my dreams as I sleep upon this empty bed
And ponder of our times together
Of the many years of passion, shared as one in this very room

The pain of love which lie deep inside, is all that's left of you
Its been a year since you've departed, and the hurt remains the same
In my crying heart, I think of you each and every day

How I wish I could go back in time, and be with you again
The loneliness in my soul, is just too much to bear
So I sit in the darkness of this house, which for us was our castle

Until your life was taken, by the God we love so much
Now only the memories of you are left, to keep me occupied
Which helps to fill the void of emptiness, which resides within my being

I remember speaking gently, as I held your shaken hands
As we walked beside the white tipped waves, along the water's edge
The words I used to calm your fears, I recall ever so clear

I told you what you meant to us, how much we'll miss your love
Your son and daughter, who'll cherish you, will always remember their Mom
But most of all, your partner whos shared so many hopes and dreams
Will keep you in his thoughts, every second of the day

But since you've left, I pine each night, I want to be with you
I remember saying, you'll see me soon, so weep no tears for me
But God decided to let me live, oh how I yearn for death

If you could just whisper softly, he may just grant the wishes, I pray for every night
To place my soul and heart with you, and put me by your side
So we can be a set together, in this new eternity

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
June 25, 2006

The Shyness of Love

Dedicated To: Ernestina Ruiz

How I wish I could paint thoughts of love
I keep for you, inside your beating heart

What fantasies we would share together
On this magical path we'll travel, towards eternity

But I can only think of this, for I'm too shy to ask
If only I had the nerve, to risk it all for you

I know our moments spent together, would last the test of time
What music our love would make, as we glide across the clouds

The songs of joy, would fill our souls, and never would we part
But I'm ashamed, to even try, and take a chance with you

The beauty which your face in shines, is just too much for me
So I'll view, and ponder of the dreams, that could have been

As I watch another steal your heart, who's not to shy to ask

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
June 22, 2006

Boulevard of Lost Souls

Dedicated To: Lost souls, wondering towards Eternity....

On this boulevard of life, where many souls have lost their way

We all must travel along a path, which leads to a place called death

The venture begins with our birth, and only God knows when it will end

Avenues of despair are placed, with detours leading to streets filled with sin

If we're strong enough to avoid these traps, and stay the steady course

Goodness will surely follow, to all those who truly believe

For life will reside in them, and death will be a hollow thought

Along with the many evils, made in our trek towards our Father's home

For God so loved the world, he gave his only son to bear our every transgression

So we can be forgiven, for all which we have done

His flock with free will given, must make a final choice, to live forever

In the valley of death or march in glory, into the Den of Life

Where the Son reigns in his Father's House, and our journey has reached its end

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

Angels, Rainbows, & Painted Stars

Dedicated To: Madelline Rose Magallanes

Angels, Rainbows, and Painted Stars are God's special gifts, to his flock

The beauty which they display, is indeed a sight to behold

Angels come to guide us, for those who truly believe

And Rainbows are a sign from God, of the divinity of his grace

For in between these presents, he gives free to one and all

Lie the stars, which God has painted upon the canvas of his sky

But even more amazing, than all which we have seen

Is the knowledge of what he has given, is just a preview of what's to come

So if we decide these visions, is worth a trip with him

Then think what waits for us in heaven, in the palace we'll call our home

Written By: Roland R. Ruiz

Unrelenting Love

Dedicated To: Hope Gonzalez

I am the whisper in your heart, as I reflect upon the love we lost

So many years ago

From another place and age, memories of the love we shared

Lie deep within my thoughts

As I came upon you suddenly, in this room filled with strangers

Visions began to fill my mind

Of the days when we were young, oh how we laughed and shared such fun

If only we could go back in time, and begin all over again

To relive the joys of youth, how much our lives would differ

If we could just correct the mistakes, made along the avenue of sin

But this is all for naught, for whatever feelings we once shared

Has left barren our heart and mind

With only the emptiness of unrelenting love, and the dreams which have faded away

To be replaced, with what could have been, within the passion of our souls

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

Storm Chasers

Dedicated To: Victoria N. Magallanes

Hidden in the anvil of a late April storm
Beats the whistles of a whirlwind, Mother Nature has just born

It spins its deadly fingers, while growing stronger in its wake
Turning downwards toward the prairie, in search of victims to make a name

We drive our tattered wagon, along this dusty road
Seeking answers to the secrets which the Twister holds inside

The knowledge which we gather, in our chase of spring time storms
Will lead one day to learning, how to tame their wicked turns

As we watch this swirling mass, venting anger with each embrace
This evil wrath of blackness, sets its funnel upon the land

The darkness in the sky, seems to be drawing ever closer
Leaving little time to check our instruments, which gives us insight
To many questions left unanswered, by the coming of the storms

Amazingly the devil wind begins to plow, into the dryness of the ground
Turning trees into splinters, as it cuts a slithered path, along the edges of the field

With just three quarter mile between us, we gaze towards the vortex
Whom very few have ever seen, or will ever see again

For we're Tornado Hunters, a job which breathes pure fear
In this magnificence of nature, rarely seen by mortal man

Leaves me totally in awe, of the many splendid wonders
Mother Nature keeps within

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

The Maze

Dedicated To: Ursula Steinhauser

In this turnaround called life to many known as fate
Lies two hands directing traffic, thru a maze called sin
As we shift and turn in our trek to another world
Goodness and evil stand side by side watching all who pass

With no movement by either side, they wait till we decide
To whom we'll turn and face, a choice we'll need to make
Towards the light towards the dark, there is no other choice
As I go forwards pondering, as to which direction to take

A decision I'll need to make before the judgment day
What hands shall I reach out, which choice should I make
My soul with free will given by the powers of the light
To render what I think is just within these ruthless walls

I'll ask the hands of righteousness to seal this heart with love
To bring me to the brilliance which lies within his globe
For in the powers of his love will guide me to the end
Opening the door to paradise, for the rest of eternity

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
May' 2006

My Everlasting Love

Dedicated To: Evangeline, my Valentine

Have you ever tried to put a meaning to everlasting love?
You could almost say it's like a rainbow, bending across the sky

The ebbs and flows, the ups and downs which carries us at times
Reminds me of the many memories we hold so deep inside

And like the multiple of colors, which sparkles after a morning rain
Love is ever smiling, radiating a special glow, which shines upon your face

I truly believe, I've found the answer to the question, I've stated above
And you're the meaning, I've searched to find, no need to seek any further

For you and I bound together, will share sweet dreams, as only lovers can
And we'll watch our rainbows brighten each day, as no other has done before

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
May 10, 2006

D-Day, A Soldier Remembers

Dedicated To: All those who fought and died on Normandy Beach, so many years ago.....

As I walk into this field of valor, in the early morning hours
I think of the many fine and brave soldiers, who lie beneath the ground
With multitudes of painted crosses, to mark their sacred graves
Thoughts slowly fill my mind, June 6, 1944, I remember only so well
The scare and terror of that day remains etched within my heart
I try to forget the screams of death, that passed before my eyes
But the scenes remain so vivid and clear, even after all these years
D-Day resides so deep in me, their's nothing I can do
To rid me of the dreams, which haunts me, in the twilight of my years
The sand, the water, the blood, mixed with the sounds of death
Caused me to pray to God, to forgive my mortal sins

I remember following my sarge, into the water, on that early misty morn
Just as we reached Utah Beach a bullet struck his helmet, spinning him around
Showing me a bloody stump, that used to be his head
To this young innocent country boy, who just turned 19 two days before
Within seconds, leaving me no other choice, I suddenly became a man

As I raced past his lifeless shell, knowing at any moment
My life could end as well, somehow I survived thru this violent hell
And went on to fight in other battles, until the bitter end
Every so often I make this trip, to see my fallen comrades
And each time as I return, I leave a piece of me, between the blood soaked sands

As I approach my eighty first year, I know this will be my last trip
To see my fallen friends, so I'll walk slowly thru this hollowed field
And say a final goodbye to all these gallant soldiers
Who gave their lives for God and country, as only heroes can

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

Rainbow Soldiers

Dedicated to: Army T/Sgt. Thomas M. Hankins, a brave soldier who lost his life in Vietnam, and Marilyn, the wife he left behind......

Have you ever gazed towards a rainbow?
After a morning rain

And wondered what lies within the colored sparkles
Between the sunlit clouds

Could it be the thoughts of souls, who left before their time?
With remnants of a lonely past, painted with dreams that will never be

A soldier's life that's lost in battle, can be described this way
The dreams unfilled, as life begins to fade

Resembles the colors of a rainbow
Bending across a fresh washed sky, beneath the risen sun

Often those who are left behind, forget what heroes do
The freedom they loose is ours to gain, so let's not forget their deeds

So whenever a rainbow appears in the sky
Look for the colors between the clouds

For they're a remainder of the gallant troops
Who gave up their hopes for us?

Let's always remember and never forget
The heroes who lost their dreams

And pray for our soldiers, who fight in a war
To live out their dreams in peace

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz
April' 2006

Special Friends

Every so often, one meets friends on this electrical medium we call the Internet, and if we're very fortunate, the friendship will last, even when half a world separated the parties involved. I've been fortunate to meet someone who has taken a shine to both me and my loving wife, and I'm very thankful for the new friends, I've gotten know in this short period. I would like to thank Rose DesRochers and her fine staff at Todays-Woman, for allowing a group of writers to share their thoughts and dreams on this wonderful web site. and to you Ursula and your dear husband Hermann, my wife and I send our love, may the rainbow of friendship that exists between our home and yours, be just a heartbeat away.....

Dedicated To: Ursula and Hermann Steinhauser

It's always nice to meet someone, who shares your thoughts and joy

So often in life, people mingle say hello, and go their merry way

But every so often if you're lucky enough, special friends will come along

To bless your life with happiness, even when you've just met them, over the electric waves

It's like you've known them for many years, old friends who'll share their lives with you

From a land so beautiful and far away, where God rested on the seventh day

My wife and I fell so blessed to know these special friends

Who bring so much joy to us, in our modest home

We know they live so far away, we may never really meet

But God moves in mysterious ways, and one will never know

But this I tell you, my far away friends our lives will never be the same again

Since we met you over the Internet, your thoughts are just a heartbeat away

On this beautiful Easter morning, we send our love to you

From a place so far away, in the good old USA

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

A Good Son

Dedicated To: Maria Cecilia Ruiz (03/10/24)-(03/28/03)

Three years ago today dear Mother, you left to be with God

I lay upon your tombstone, red roses you like so much

I can't help but think of the day you died, in the home that was your life

As we walked into your bedroom on that early foggy morn

To wait for death, which will stop the pain and take your soul from us

I see the color in your eyes, as I approach your crumpled bed

No need to speak dear Mother, for you send volumes with just your look and stare

I think back to a week ago, when it was just the two of us

In this bedroom you slept in, for over 40 years

I remember those very words, you were able to convey

"You've been a good son, for all these years, so think of me when I go, for I will always love you son"

Tears began to well in me, soon the flow ran down my cheeks

I tried to hold them back, even in the pain you bore it was you who comfort me

Now the week has passed us by, the hospice nurse prepared us well

For this very day, the time has come to say goodbye, as we surround your bed

The daughters and sons you've loved so much, circle you with tears of sadness

To say goodbye to the one we love, to the one who gave us life

Sleep dear Mother, go in peace Dad is waiting on the other side

So take his hand, he'll guide you thru, into a peaceful place

Where pain is just an after thought, in the shadows of your mind

I remember that day, only so well the hurt has never left

I try to put it behind me, and forget the pain of death

To the one who carried me inside, and gave me all her love

Written by: Roland R. Ruiz

A Moment In Time

Dedicated To: Jacob Deleon

Have you ever wanted, a moment in time
To return again, and again

As I sit in my chair, with loneliness by my side
I think of the friends, who no longer exist

And I wonder, when my time will end
They say there's advantages to growing old

But as I approach my 95th year
The only advantage, I feel in my bones
Is my death, which is certain to be

The sting of death, has taken its toll
My wife, my kids, my brothers, and sisters

All gone and buried away, as I sit in my chair
Only thoughts, remain of the joy, I remember only so well

My body did leave me 10 years ago
But my mind is still sharp, and as quick as a whip

I cry each night, when my dreams recollect
Of the loves ones, who's gone their way

And I pray to my God, who's taken away
The ones that I loved so much

I feel I've suffered enough, in my life
But Lord, it's your thoughts that count

If you would grant me, the dreams which I pray
And place me in a chair, in your home

Let me rekindle, the joys of my youth
And I'll share all my thoughts with you

Unspoken

Dedicated To: Evangeline M. Ruiz (30th Anniversary Poem)

In the years, since we committed our love and said our holy I do
How many time have I heard you say, " you've forgotten my birthday,
our anniversary, and all the holidays, that means so much to me,
sometimes I wonder, if you've forgotten the love, you claim you have for me"

Well love, I'm here to settle the score, and tell you how I truly feel
About the love, that resides inside my heart, not lost nor misplaced
Just unspoken, now my love, the time has come to express my feelings
To rekindle the flames and desires of the memories, I hold only for you

I thought about how to tell you this, as we approach our 30th anniversary
So I decided to buy a card, and write my dreams, into words
And describe the love, I have for you, which radiates deep, from within my soul

It seems over the years, I've forgotten how it used to be
I remember when we were young, I loved just being together
So eager was I, to share our thoughts, made me quiver with sheer delight

I'm sorry I've hurt you, I know the love you have for me, has never changed
But as we approach our golden years, I want the memories of our youth
To bring us together, the way it used to be, to you my love, I say this

There's no one who can match, what you've done for me
The time has come to tell you this, and bring the dreams we've shared together
Back into our lives

Love always and forever, Roland...........

Daughter Of Your Thoughts

Dedicated To: Chrissy Marie Ruiz

Dear Lord up so high, I question as to why, death is in the air
When a child of your creation, pays a visit every year

Mother Nature is her name, has a will all her own
You pay no favorites Lord, for you give it to one and all

Soon the season will adorn, our beautiful Gulf Coast shore
Along the southern borders, in the good old USA

I recall, oh so well, the memories are still so fresh
Of the loss of life and home, we suffered just last year

The daughter of your thoughts, bore some children, recently
In a season, we'll remember, for all eterntiy

Evil in their sinister ways, much like the ones, who ran away
Katrina and Rita are the names, which will live forever

In the minds of those infected by the storms of last September
Dear Lord, to you so high above, I say a silent prayer

If you would ask your Daughter, to keep her anger down
Let's not repeat the season, that we suffered just months ago

And give us time to heal the pain, that remains with us today